It was Friday October 13th, but it was 3 years in the making, when I decided to start again, and cut my hair.
I always knew I wanted to go natural, but I didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon with everyone else like some fad or fashion statement, but literally, I had gotten to the point where I was kind of left with no choice.
My fine textured hair was short, and always looked sweet with a hint of color thrown into the mix, but unfortunately, this hair would constantly grow out the relaxer within a matter of weeks! Due to the short style I wanted to rock, I always felt the need to relax it as soon as you could see any sign of regrowth… big mistake!
I was always afraid of how it would look, I thought it wouldn’t suit me, I thought that it wouldn’t be accepted in the work place, and I thought it would be less attractive.
Before you judge me, I know I’m not the only one that once had/has these thoughts and feelings, and to be honest I despise them. For the most part, these ideals I had in my head were far from true, I had seen it with my own eyes on others, but for me to go natural it would be different-right? Thanks to the society we are living in, this is what we have been made to feel. Apparently straight shiny long hair is the way forward right?…….WRONG!
I did the ‘big chop’ in 2 stages. This wasn’t intentional, but I think it goes to show how much I wasn’t ready, but I knew it was the right time to finally do this liberating thing.
I first went to a Deva Curl salon in NJ where I had to basically beg the lady to cut more of my hair off, she even told me ‘If I cut too much off you may not like it’ I was confident and said to her ‘no it’s okay you can cut as much as you need as the aim is to start over again’ She then only went on to ‘trim’ a little more, and by this point I just assumed it was enough, paid them, and left somewhat liberated.
The following day, I woke up and took my bonnet off remembering what I had done the day before. I’m not going to lie, I was a little taken aback when I took that bonnet off, my hair was looking wild! That is when I told my friend that I just need to shave it off, which is what I wanted in the first place!
The second trip was to a barber. They basically hooked me up and gave me that new look that I was hoping the visit from the previous day would’ve given me.
Whilst in the chair, as the female barber went lower and lower on the sides and the back, my friend looked at me, what she couldn’t see was that I was crying inside, I instantly felt exposed, like whatever I was trying to hide through my hair, I could no longer do.
It was done, and I knew that there was nothing I could now do to bring my damaged hair back, but I was happy with the fact that I could finally say I did it!
Almost 3 months on, I still sometimes miss the ease of having permed hair, but the feeling of finally taking the plunge, not to mention the lovely comments and feedback from family, friends and strangers, it definitely helps me embrace my new crown even more.
To anyone that is afraid to do the big chop, or believes that it wouldn’t suit them, do it in your own time, and just know this is how your hair is meant to be, and there are many different styles you can choose that will be sure to suit your look!